Today, I am Thankful for Our Miscarriage



This time of year, we all are trying to consciously think of what we are thankful for. Facebook is full of people keeping track of their thankfulness, and we all are able to connect. We are thankful for our families, our Churches, our Topo Chico. It is wonderful to share our thankfulness and to lift each other up with these thoughts. So far, 7 days into November, I have had a difficult time switching my brain into Thanksgiving mode. I try to practice daily thanking our God for all He has given us, but the darkness has begun to overcome me again (it seems to be coming in tidal waves). It has gotten difficult once again to look past the ache in my heart or the emptiness in my tummy. However, I can see little by little our God working to fill in the gaps and to show me more of His character.

We were blessed to have the director of the local pregnancy resource center to visit our Church last night and share her story and the story of one of the young women who have sought help at the center. I am terribly sad to think that my husband and I did not get to hold our baby or have a chance to lead them in the way they should go, but I am overjoyed to see somewhere like the pregnancy resource center helping to support those who are confused, scared, and do not know what it means to have a life inside of them. They get to reach out for support, love and grace. The type that reflects Christ. My heart soars knowing these mommies and their babies have the chance to grow closer to God and to know Him more.

I also had a moment during this presentation where I realized that the ache in my heart and hole in my tummy—they hurt. But how much more did God hurt when He gave up His Son for us? He willingly took on these painful feelings—and more—to save me, to save us. He has felt these things because He loves me. He loved my baby. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, I know where my baby rests, and I know where I will rest one day. Some people do not get to experience this knowledge, and I hope they get to learn of that hope.

I am learning to be thankful and to praise in the midst of darkness, to Praise Him from Whom all blessings flow. This has been forming in the way of being thankful for our miscarriage. I am thankful for the mustard seed that was, and the mustard seed that sits in the Heavenly throne rooms, praising our God day by day. I am thankful for the ability to grow closer to my husband—a closeness that only grows through seasons of difficulty. I am thankful for knowing a love that I had not known before; one that reflects the love my Heavenly Father has for me. I am thankful for the pain, a pain that reminds me of the pain Christ experienced as He died for me, for my baby, for us all. I am thankful for the ache—it is an ache that makes me love on people more, and to dream a little more daringly in the days to come.

I am thankful for my miscarriage. I hope God continues using this to deepen my understanding of His character, and I hope He continues leading me to do His will and extend the love He gives that is above understanding.

To God be the glory, Amen.

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