His Ways are Higher
I never thought I would be counting the number of children I have in heaven. I never knew I would be gifted a family, half of which you can’t see. I thought we would have a family, a pretty good sized family, and all figure this life out together. I didn’t know we would only have one earth side. I didn’t know I would be yearning for more but fear my yearning will be met with another babe waiting for me in Heaven. I don’t understand how I can yearn so deeply yet have what I yearn for stripped away. Maybe the yearning is so I pour even more into my Samuel? I don’t know the purpose. I don’t know why. I do know the depths of grief that ebb and flow depending on the day. I know some days I’m “okay” and some days I’m just not. I know I typically feel jumbled in my thoughts and feelings. But I also know my weakness is the perfect place for Him to show His strength. Oh Lord, I know You are greater than anything I could ever imagine. I know Your plans and Your ways are higher than my brain ca