Momma in the Valley

When I worked the overnight shift at a children’s home in Texas, kids would at times ask me to sit in their doorways if they woke from a nightmare; that way, they knew someone was protecting them from the monsters they were afraid of. During those times, I prayed the chorus of the song “Holy Spirit”  sung by Francesca Battistelli. This song still brings up those children for me and reminds me to pray for them, so I often do as I sing along. “Holy Spirit, You are welcome here Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for To be overcome by Your presence, Lord.” Through the past few weeks, I have struggled finding my voice, finding words, finding the ability to sing along. Outside of the hymns at Church, I haven’t been singing. My heart and mind have been downcast, and I’m not sure I was even recognizing when music was playing; everything was under a thick veil of gray. This past week, I heard this song. Not only did I...

This is my inaugural blog post, sharing real feelings from days I never knew would come to be. My hope and prayer is that these posts will reach someone going through the same type of heartache. No one should ever feel alone, but especially during a time where you are the most raw you ever have been. This will all of course be a work in progress, but I am not afraid to share the newness of these things, and I hope all the vulnerability will encourage others. Without further ado, my first blog post: This morning was the first morning I woke up and my first thought was not of my baby.  Almost as soon as I realized this, a wave of guilt washed over me, strengthening my confusion and weariness.  The confusion of how I can love someone so much after only knowing of them for a week and never getting the pleasure of meeting them.  The confusion of feeling simultaneously joyful that my baby gained heaven, and full of sorrow that my baby isn’t here in my arms.  This mor...