Villages

When I worked the overnight shift at a children’s home in Texas, kids would at times ask me to sit in their doorways if they woke from a nightmare; that way, they knew someone was protecting them from the monsters they were afraid of. During those times, I prayed the chorus of the song “Holy Spirit” sung by Francesca Battistelli. This song still brings up those children for me and reminds me to pray for them, so I often do as I sing along.

“Holy Spirit, You are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by Your presence, Lord.”

Through the past few weeks, I have struggled finding my voice, finding words, finding the ability to sing along. Outside of the hymns at Church, I haven’t been singing. My heart and mind have been downcast, and I’m not sure I was even recognizing when music was playing; everything was under a thick veil of gray.

This past week, I heard this song. Not only did I hear the song, but I sang the song. It had been a long week of illness, and we attended a football game (which was difficult in and of itself because the last football game we attended was when I first had an inkling of being pregnant). It has felt like the world has been small, but this moment helped it open back up again. It was such a wonderful moment to be able to sing and not be bogged down with grief. It was refreshing being able to think of children and love them without being worried about my own that I had lost.

After that moment, I have been able to see more clearly, and be more like myself. I have finally recovered (mostly) from the stomach bug, and my body is getting back to normal. My heart is able to smile again. I even had a coworker tell me that they knew I was getting better because I had “that sparkle” back in my eyes. The moments of grief still hit me, and there are still times when my husband and I realize how sad we both are to not be able to tangibly hold our baby. However, we have been surrounded by such a great village that we are able to get through it.

Your village is so important, you guys. Who you surround yourself with determines so much—how you feel, how you look at life, how you are supported. I have always known it was important and this has always been something my husband and I have valued, but it is even more valuable in times of crisis and grief.

Our village has prayed for us, has checked in on us, has given us grace when we struggled to give it to ourselves. Our village has given us gifts that say “Mommy” and “Daddy,” and they have reminded us that it is OKAY to grieve on our own timeline and in our own way. It is because of this village and this time of being poured into that we are able to begin turning back around and pouring back into people again. This week, I have been able to love on people and laugh with people. I have been able to look for ways to serve people again and to love on them just as they have been loving on me. I have been able to DREAM again and to get excited over the things that set my heart on FIRE. Why? Because God has sent me a community to love on me and help me heal.

Because He first loved us. God loves us so much that He sent His son to die for us. He loves us so much that He has already defeated death and the grave. He loves us so much that He experienced all of the pain and grief we experience, so much so that he sweat blood.  He loves us so much that He sends us people in the flesh to love on us the way He loves, so that we can feel a glimpse of just how deep that love is. It may not be that people themselves are good, but the God that lives in us is good.

So, my hope for you guys is to love on your village. But also, let them love on you! You cannot raise a child without a village, and you cannot go through life without that same village. Connect with someone and love on them. See God’s love at work. Allow yourself to feel His presence and see Him enter; know He is around you, just as the atmosphere is. Be overcome by His love and grace. ❤️