May 9th, 2020
This time of Covid has brought many changes, many worries, many fears, and much alone time to light. Suddenly, I’m home all the time. Suddenly, I’m not working. Suddenly, my social outlets have been shut down. Suddenly, I’m left to my own devices. Suddenly, it’s April and now May. Bit by bit, my motherly instincts have been kicking in. I’ve been worrying about this sweet baby Samuel since day one, and to think I could lose him byway of something I could have avoided by staying home—that thought kills me. So, that’s why I’m home. To try to protect my family as best I can. Our hearts stopped when we lost Bailey, and we want to do all we can to protect Samuel, even if it is a decision ridiculed by some. That ridicule doesn’t matter—what matters is our love for this baby. All of these fears and worries come at a time when mine and my husbands emotions are most raw. Saturday, May 9th, was the projected due date for us to meet our Bailey. This date has been in the back of our minds