All Saint’s Day

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

‭‭1 Peter 1:3-7

We live in a sinful, broken world. A world where evil is all around us, and we fight to see through the dark shadows that plague our hearts and minds. We are imperfectly living in an imperfect world, and this effects us physically and mentally each day. However, thank the Lord we have been “born again to a living hope.” Even though we go through difficulties of this world, even though we feel excruciating pain on this earth, we know what lies ahead for us, thanks to the sacrifice of Christ.

I am convinced that these trials are used to reveal our salvation to us, to reveal the power of our almighty God, and to reveal His character to us. We each have our own struggles, fears, and doubts. Therefore, we each need Him to speak to us in different ways, however He sees fit. He is omnipresent, and He will reveal Himself, our salvation, and His glory as needed. You see, if we were to rip back the curtain all at once and see all of His glory, our weaknesses would keep us from handling it. God knows He has to treat us gingerly and reveal things to us as we go along in life. He has all the right timing and knows all that we need—we just have to trust Him. 

In the verse following this, Peter says, “[t]hough you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory...” We know Christ is there. We know He died for us and we know the blessings bestowed upon us (thank the Lord we have our Bibles to explain these things to us!). Our trials grow us closer to Him and He reveals Himself to us in our struggles and in those He places around us during those struggles.

I wanted to set up all of this context and drive home the fact that He knows our timing, and His timing is perfect, no matter what it feels like in the moment. When I first read these words in 1 Peter, I felt like I was reading about our Bailey. While we don’t know if they were a boy or a girl, my heart leans towards believing they were a boy (see my post about singing “Simple Man” and praying for a son shortly before finding out we were pregnant). Not that this point matters, but it makes the words I read resonate even louder.

This is one of Peter’s letters, talking about Christ and how we may not have seen Him, we know who He is and we know He is there because He has taught us this through His Word. It struck me because I also feel these words in reference to my lost child—I haven’t seen him or met him, but I have an inexpressible love and joy for him and know he was real and that I will get to meet him again. I know my child is wrapped in the arms of the One who made him. I get to rest in the knowledge that while I am here, while I share sorrow with my husband and wonder what life would have been like, I know who our God is, and I know our son is in the arms of his Creator. The One who thought of our child before we could even have dreamt of him, the One who was knitting together his little body, piece by piece, the One who comforts our souls and gives us a peace beyond human understanding...that is the One who holds my child.

I feel like through all of this, I am getting to see more and more of God’a character. I get to continually see His grace, mercy, love and peace. And hopefully, I get to continue sharing that with others. Sometimes I feel my words do not string together coherently, but my hope and goal remain the same—that a raw and honest explanation of what I see and feel will touch someone seeking that same peace that only comes from God. Hopefully validation will help that person heal, and hopefully God will continue revealing Himself to us all.

How appropriate that on all Saint’s Day, I get to express my joy and excitement for seeing our child in the coming days, and reminisce on the fact that they are in that cloud of saints, praising God with us in each joyous song. ❤️