All Glory, Laud, and Honor

32 weeks and 4 days. The days suddenly matter more than ever as we await the arrival of our baby boy. An arrival that should be taking place in 8 weeks, but suddenly could happen as early as next week.

A week and a half ago, I went in for a normal appointment, not feeling well but thinking and hoping I was just sick with a virus. This turned into being hospitalized which turned into a diagnosis of hepatic cholestasis of pregnancy. This progressed to my old OB wiping her hands of me, and a rough transition to the new OB in a more difficult location with different policies and a much larger office that sees many more people. The saving grace has been that the doctor I got to know while in the hospital has taken time out of her days to call me and ensure I understand what is happening and what we could be facing. The fears are of an increased risk of stillbirth, an increased risk of hemorrhage, and a risk of permanent damage to my body.


These risks feel insurmountable. There have been many moments of tears, physical pain, mental and physical exhaustion. The risks, the phone calls, the doctor appointments, the hospitalization, the unknown days and times of induction or potential C-section. The thought through the day of “Have I felt him move recently? Is he okay?” All of it feels like mountains and rolling hills that I cannot climb. Obstacles I cannot go around. Possibilities and paths I cannot imagine but feel so scary.


The unknowns are big, but my God is bigger. I do not know the path we will be taking even tomorrow, but I know the One Who goes before me. I do not know the outcomes, but He knew my son before the beginning of creation. My tears may fall, but I know the One Who holds them. My son may die, but I know the One Who sent His Son to die that mine may live eternally.


Our son, Silas James, will be with us soon. When we named him Silas, meaning “prayed for,” we had no idea how many prayers would be rising up for him or for us. Our community is incredible and we are beyond blessed to be lifted up so lovingly.


The fears plague me and the unknowns are hard. But the Lord already knows and He walks before us. He walks beside us. He holds us, guides us, and molds us. No matter the outcome, no matter my mental and physical health, He has overcome it all and to Him be all glory, laud, and honor.


“All glory, laud, and honor 

to you, Redeemer, King, 

to whom the lips of children 

made sweet hosannas ring. 

You are the King of Israel 

and David's royal Son, 

now in the Lord's name coming, 

the King and Blessed One.”

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