Momma in the Valley

32 weeks and 4 days. The days suddenly matter more than ever as we await the arrival of our baby boy. An arrival that should be taking place in 8 weeks, but suddenly could happen as early as next week. A week and a half ago, I went in for a normal appointment, not feeling well but thinking and hoping I was just sick with a virus. This turned into being hospitalized which turned into a diagnosis of hepatic cholestasis of pregnancy. This progressed to my old OB wiping her hands of me, and a rough transition to the new OB in a more difficult location with different policies and a much larger office that sees many more people. The saving grace has been that the doctor I got to know while in the hospital has taken time out of her days to call me and ensure I understand what is happening and what we could be facing. The fears are of an increased risk of stillbirth, an increased risk of hemorrhage, and a risk of permanent damage to my body. These risks feel insurmountable. There have been man...

We know the questions. We’ve heard them before, and we’ll hear them again. Maybe you’ve heard them, too. Why would you announce so early? What if you lose this one? Do you really want to go through this again? Aren’t the ones you have enough? We love our babies; every single one of them. We love the two we have in Heaven and adored them and prayed for them during short period we had them on Earth. We mourned their loss when they died. We still miss them and wonder what life could be like now. We look forward to the Heavenly reunion when we get to praise our Savior alongside them. The two we have here on Earth? They absolutely light up our lives! They are the sweetest children I have ever seen, and I see God working in them and through them daily. Alex and I get to be the ones they argue with and cry with and scream at. We are called to correct them and raise them in the way they should go. We are also the ones who get to see them think of others and pray for others. We see them twirl a...