In Like a Lion Out Like a Lamb — My Roaring 20s

It’s kind of weird that I can reflect on the past decade of my life and reflect on all that has happened. 10 years ago, I had no idea what I was doing, but I was working hard toward a bachelor’s degree. Emotionally, I was flailing and searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I graduated on time with honors, but I had allowed myself to be reeled into the worldly things of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Depression was deep. Anxiety was rampant. My personal life was going nowhere fast and I didn’t have the emotional stamina to fully serve the population I was working with professionally. I would come home “needing” some wine to wind down. I had become a different person than I thought I could be or would be. I still loved people. I was still compassionate. But I had developed a jadedness. A hardness. My heart was searing.

But God. He gave me an incredible support system growing up. He gave me people who I could rely on to be there even when I was on a path of destruction. He gave me people who would lead me back to Him. Without the support of many important people in my life, I’m not sure I would have left. I would have stayed in a toxic relationship. I would have allowed myself to be abused by others and by my actions. 

But I had people who reminded me of the Gospel. Who reminded me of God’s promises and the sacrifices He made so I could be forgiven. I had people who welcomed me back with open arms and open homes. Oh, how God used His Word and Sacrament to heal my aching heart.

Then, I got in touch with my best friend and her brother. Her brother messaged me then we continued finding reasons to message. Suddenly, we are searching the Word together and growing in Christ. Suddenly, we are married. Suddenly, we are having babies and serving people in our own ways.

10 years ago, I never would have believed I would be living on a mountain serving my family. That I would be back in the same Church I grew up in with people who have seen me through all walks of life thus far. I didn’t know just how deeply I would be able to understand the true meaning of the cross. The redemption I have in Christ is so sweet. What a God we have that He would die for all those sins and that He would give the gift of other people to lead me back to Him.

My 20s were “roaring,” for sure. Roaring with guilt and shame and forgiveness and redemption. They came in like a lion and out like a lamb. How blessed they were. Now, I get to see how God will use my 30s. Now, I get to be “dirty 30.” Covered in dirt from the garden, dirty from baby messes and kitchen experiments. Thank you, Lord. ‘Tis good to be here.

Here’s to 30.