What My Negative Self-Talk Has Taught Me

Like most Mommas, I have been feeling negative about my outer appearance. Sometimes, I’ll feel reasonably confident about how I look in the mirror, but then I’ll see a picture and feel amazed at how different I look…. how terribly, negatively different.

Then the thoughts begin: Is this how other people see me? Do I look this bad? Am I that dorky looking? Should I not have cut my hair? Etc., etc. 

I know I am not the only one who thinks these things or has these feelings, but it can feel very isolating at times, especially when I am in a time where I am supposed to be “glowing” and “proud” of my body. I honestly don’t think I’m glowing—I think the difficulties of this pregnancy are shown in new lines on my face. And I am not proud of my body—I am thankful, yes, but there will always be a glint of fear and guilt lying underneath the surface, placing blame on myself for our previous losses. I am not looking for anyone to tell me anything different; I am simply stating that those thoughts and feelings will likely always be a part of me, for better or worse.

I often try to learn from what I am feeling or experiencing. Learning from something such as negative self-talk can be difficult, but here are a couple of things that these thoughts and feelings have taught me.

1. It’s Not Me, but He Who Lives in Me 

It seems ironic that the world says I should be proud of being a Momma simply because I am a Momma. The world says I should boast in my pride. I have an issue with this; boasting with pride that my body has held a human does not make me a good Momma. Nothing I can do will make me a good Momma. I will mess that up every chance I get. But thank the Lord that He is a part of this journey, and He is ultimately Who my children and I can boast in. He is Who can make me a good Momma. Through His Word and Sacrament, I am cleansed, renewed, and molded into the Momma He needs me to be to raise my children. Thank the Lord and sing Him praise

2. You Do Not Have to March to be Pro-life 

I know, this seems like a 180 turn, but it’s true. What bolder way to stand pro-life than to recognize the beauty that is my children? All 4 of my children, the two in Heaven and the two here with me, are blessings beyond measure. Every good and perfect gift is from above, and I fully believe this includes every unborn child from conception. 

I may be unable to march or put in hours at our local pregnancy resource center. I may not have the background or training to support Mommies in need. But I can support the babies I have and raise them to love and serve God’s people. 

My negative self-talk may pop up and make me feel inadequate, but that’s just Satan trying to weasel his way into my heart and mind. My body has housed four beautiful babies, one I hope to meet face to face soon. 

I hope each of you will focus on the things above rather than the things below. On the blessings God continues to give you, not on the minute details Satan tries to throw in your face. 

Our individual vocations have been given to us by a Lord who knows our hearts—the positives and the negatives. And He continues to equip us with His living Word so He can use us and work through us to accomplish His almighty, holy plan. 

So do not be discouraged when you have downbeat self-talk pop in your head, feel inadequate in your calling, or see horrible news stories that make you feel immobile in your beliefs. Instead, trust the Almighty and pray without ceasing; He knows all that is happening, and He will use us. He IS using us.