Here’s to One.

Almost a year ago, on July 21st, 2020 at 8:40pm, light began shining on the Earth for the Hicks family.

Colors became brighter.

Smells became more fragrant.

Ups became higher.

Lows became lower.

Sorrow became deeper.

Joy became stronger.

At that time, our sweet little boy was born. Our beautiful, precious, perfect Rainbow Baby. For months, we had anticipated and imagined what he would be like. We had prepared as much as possible for his arrival. But nothing prepared us for the adrenaline we would feel when it was “time.” Nothing prepared us for the fear that would strike us when the nurse said he was throwing “d-cels.” Nothing prepared us for the determination I would muster to deliver. Nothing prepared us for the incredible patient, loving, and steady voice my husband used when cheering me on. Finally, nothing prepared us for the rush of intense love and new understanding of grace bestowed upon us the moment we laid eyes on our baby.

My husband recently recalled being in the hospital and thinking, “this happens to people EVERY DAY.” We talked about how Earth shattering and heart widening this day was for us and how it happens to people all the time. We lamented about how for some, the fear never left, the joy never came.

It was in that moment that the world began seeing us as “Mommy” and “Daddy,” even though we had become those things way before, when Bailey was conceived.

It was in that moment that our vocation changed. Our jobs became even more important. Our relationship with one another also shifted, but it deepened. Our view of the world was indescribable, as our world now seemed to revolve around a little bundle of joy laying in our arms.

In this moment, Satan waged a new war upon us. I’m sure he had already begun placing fear, doubt, and dread in our minds, trying to make us think we were not fit for parenthood.

You know, he’s right. I am not fit for motherhood and my husband is not fit for fatherhood. The callings placed upon us are misplaced. Why?

Because we are sinners.

We have and will let Samuel down. We will fail. We will do him wrong, and at times, it will feel as though Satan is winning.

But God.

Our God has already won this war. He has already overcome sin, death, and the grave. He has given us our son on loan. We are to be good stewards of him until God calls him back to his Heavenly Home.

How blessed are we that the fight has already been fought, the war has already been won, and now we get to bask in the joys of parenthood as we watch our son grow. He loves to transfer things from one place to another. He enjoys his food like no one I have ever seen. He gives the sweetest hugs and the wettest kisses. His laughs are contagious and his voice is like a soft music.

Even on the days where he is fussing and teething or on the days when he puts shoes in toilets and dog poop in his mouth, he is the best thing that could have ever happened to us. How blessed are we to get to call him ours. How proud we are to see him blossom. And how fortunate we are to have a God Who loves him so much, that He died for him.

Happy (almost) birthday, my dear baby, my son, my Samuel David.

Here’s to one.