My Dear Baby

My Dear Baby,

Mommy and Daddy never thought we would get to be this far in—18 weeks! You are a dream. You are a blessing we stand in awe of. You are a work of art our God has created, and we are blessed to get to be the vessels that hold and adore you.

We are amazed to have gotten this far, but we are still scared. Your Mommy still makes a plan each time she goes to the doctor—a plan of action of who to call and where to go if the doctor utters words that say we have lost you. I still have day dreams (nightmares) of things that could go wrong. I still worry that my body is not enough to support you—I feel like a failure each time I’m asked to go on a vitamin supplement, as if the body that was meant to hold you can’t sustain you.

You know what? My body isn’t enough. Your Mommy and Daddy are not and will never be enough. We are not perfect, and you will not be coming into a perfect world. We will both falter. There will be times we are unfair to you. We are sinners. We are broken. We are feeble minded.

However, we hope that you will always know how much you are loved. We have loved you from the moment we saw a faint little line on a little test. More importantly, your God has loved you since before Mommy and Daddy even thought of your possibility. You will be born into arms that love you. You will be born into a family that adores you. You will be raised in a church full of people who want to see you succeed. All because we are forgiven sinners. 

You see, we love because He first loved us. We cherish each day we get to grow with you and see Mommy’s body grow for you because our God has shown us the blessing we have in you.

When we lost your older brother or sister, Bailey, our hearts broke. There are no words to describe the despair we felt then and the grief we continue to feel as we go through our lives. We miss Bailey and we miss the life we won’t get to see unfold. But God used your brother to teach us how to more deeply love you. He taught us the grace He holds for us and the faithfulness He gives in all circumstances.

You see, sweet baby, we are imperfect parents. But we love you and your Heavenly Father will fill in the cracks where we lack. Our prayer is for you to know in the womb how cherished and safe you are, and outside the womb to know how loved and forgiven you are.

Here’s to week 18, my love. We cannot wait to continue seeing this journey unfold.

To God be the glory.

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